For many LGBTQ+ people, particularly gay men, shame can quietly shape the way we see ourselves, our relationships, our confidence, and the way we move through the world. Sometimes that shame becomes so familiar that we stop recognising how deeply it affects our mental health, self worth, intimacy, or sense of identity.
Books can sometimes play a powerful role in helping people better understand themselves and realise they are not alone in their experiences. Reading about themes like internalised shame, loneliness, body image, identity, relationships, and emotional survival can often be the beginning of important personal change and healing.
In this video, I talk about two influential books for many gay men, The Velvet Rage by Alan Downs and Straight Jacket by Matthew Todd, and reflect on how they helped me better understand the role shame had played in my own life. I also explore how therapy can help people begin unpacking shame and developing a more compassionate relationship with themselves. If you are a gay man struggling with shame, identity, confidence, loneliness, or self worth, I’d really encourage you to watch the video.
If any of this resonates with you and you’d like support exploring it further, I offer LGBTQ+ affirming therapy both online and in person from my practice in Manchester city centre. You’re welcome to get in touch to arrange a free 15 minute introductory call.