Why LGBTQ+ people become people pleasers often begins with fear, shame, and the need to maintain acceptance. For many people, people pleasing is not simply about being “too nice.” It can become a survival strategy that develops in environments where belonging feels uncertain or conditional.
BOUNDARIES & PEOPLE PLEASING
Articles exploring people pleasing boundaries, emotional exhaustion, family dynamics, unsolicited advice, conflict avoidance, and learning to prioritise your own emotional wellbeing.
Protect Your Peace and Stop Absorbing Other People’s Emotions
Sometimes people say things like “you’ve ruined my day” or “you’ve spoilt my evening” without really stopping to think about what sits underneath those words. While people can absolutely upset, disappoint, or hurt us, there’s also an important conversation to be had...
People Pleasing On Holiday: Why Some People Feel Responsible For Everyone Else
In this video, I explore emotional responsibility, boundaries, people pleasing, and the pressure many people feel to keep everyone else happy. I also talk about why protecting your own peace and enjoyment doesn’t make you selfish. If you often feel emotionally responsible for other people or struggle to relax without monitoring everyone around you, I’d really encourage you to watch the video.
LGBTQ+ Family Boundaries At Christmas: Coping With Non Accepting Families
Christmas and family gatherings can bring up a lot of mixed emotions for LGBTQ+ people. While this time of year is often presented as joyful and family centred, for many people it can also trigger anxiety, stress, shame, loneliness, or the pressure to hide parts of...
Why Self Care Isn’t Selfish For LGBTQ+ People
Many people struggle with the idea of self care because somewhere along the way they learned that prioritising themselves was selfish, inconsiderate, or wrong. Over time, this can lead to people pleasing, emotional exhaustion, burnout, and constantly putting other...
Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Difficult
Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Difficult. Many people struggle with boundaries, especially if they grew up feeling responsible for other people’s emotions, avoiding conflict, or putting other people’s needs ahead of their own. Saying no can bring up guilt, anxiety,...
LGBTQ+ Perfectionism: Why So Many Queer People Feel They Have to Be Perfect
Perfectionism is something many people struggle with, but for a lot of LGBTQ+ people it can run much deeper than simply wanting to do well. Perfectionism can become a way of trying to avoid rejection, gain approval, or compensate for feelings of shame and not being...
People Pleasing & Boundaries in LGBTQ+ Relationships: Learning to Say No
Many LGBTQ+ people grow up learning to prioritise other people’s comfort over their own needs. Experiences of rejection, bullying, shame, identity invalidation, or conditional acceptance can make it difficult to say no, take up space, express disagreement, or set...
Why Some People Get Drawn Into Other People’s Drama: Boundaries, People Pleasing & Emotional Exhaustion
Many people find themselves constantly pulled into other people’s problems, emotions, or relationship drama, often leaving them emotionally drained, overwhelmed, or resentful. You may notice yourself trying to fix situations that aren’t yours to manage, feeling...
Why Unsolicited Advice Can Feel So Frustrating
Many LGBTQ+ people have experienced relationships where someone constantly offers unsolicited advice, tells them what they “should” do, or acts as though they know what’s best for everyone else. While this can sometimes come from a good place, it can also feel intrusive, controlling, emotionally draining, or dismissive of our own autonomy and judgement.